At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I can't put those talents on a resume
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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