we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
