Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
