i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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