Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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