We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
