Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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