i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
