Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
