I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
