last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
