If i come over, it means nothing
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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