I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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