garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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