I puked a lego.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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