new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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