I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
