How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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