i already hear my dad disowning me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
