Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
