HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize