so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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