I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
