i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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