butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
