you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
