Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
