It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
