It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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