Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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