Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
