Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
