Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
