remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
