No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
and you fell through a lawn chair
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
