it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
