ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
