i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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