i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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