I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize