on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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