Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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