I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
then he tried to convert me to islam
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
