dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
