Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
