Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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