Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize