With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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