He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
