She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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