Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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