This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
