I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
