At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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