i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
