Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
