Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We are two peas in an std pod
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
