Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize