My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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