All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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