i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
