i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
