No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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