Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
True strength comes from lack of pants
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize