There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
