Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
