I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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