Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
do herpes really smell.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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