Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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