u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
